Finally picked crib and bedding

We got to go to a fancy-pants baby store yesterday, and picked out the bedding and the crib. :)

We ordered the bedding, but I will order the crib in the morning.
It was very cute.

My proof of the third trimester

Here I am at 26 weeks...

The up and outs...

Holy third trimester Batman!

Since last week, life for me has changed significantly. It is weird how closely it coincided with my dates... even though it shouldn't be.

I go on walks now, and it is contraction after contraction after contraction... like crazy! They're just Braxton-Hicks, but still -- bizarre. Don't worry, I have talked to my doc, and I'm just not allowed to walk for long time at once. I usually just take the dog for about 20 minutes.

Putting on my shoes is a major chore. I can't bend over my belly, and my arms are too short! I get very out of breath from the whole ordeal, and have to laugh at myself.

I've developed something of a 4:30 am routine. I have to tinkle for the 3rd or 4th time, but then I can't get back to sleep. Two nights ago, I woke up crying... and I have no idea why. Jay let me snuggle over by him, which calmed me back down rather quickly. Then last night, my shoulders and arms were falling asleep so bad. So I went and got a fuzzy blanket, put it on the floor, and with pillows to prop up my hip and arm, did a half on my stomach-half on my side pose for the rest of the night. I fell back asleep pretty quickly thankfully.

This Sunday, we will have our first Bradley class. The teacher is also a certified doula who has offered her services with the class tuition; I am very grateful for this opportunity, should we decide we like her and the idea of extra-support come d-day. I've been working on all the stretches, with the helpful reminders of Jay. He is taking his "coach" role quite seriously. :)

We made a new addition to our driveway as well... much to my surprise. We went to "look" on Sunday, and came home with a new Veracruz. It was in our budget thankfully... it looks like the bottom one here, but silver (not my favorite color). I must say, I LOVE the seat warmers. :)

some thoughts on gender

Many of you know that, at the beginning of this pregnancy, I was calling our little one, "she." When I saw the first sonogram, my insides screamed, "There she is." Sarah H, of all people, was even thinking we had a girl -- it was her "feeling."

So at the sono, when the tech said she thought he was a boy, I was a bit taken aback -- somewhat sad, somewhat surprised, and somewhat scared. This was all of course mingled with the joy and beauty of seeing a perfectly formed in miniature face, hand, spine, and leg on the screen. But I still felt like I had lost something.

Paying homage to the over-analyzer that I am, I began reflecting on where this *girl* idea came from in the first place, because as became obvious that day, I had no idea. Because I know I can't blame the entire feeling on Sarah, I looked for other sources. And I found a few.
1) Girls are more novel in our family. There just was a new nephew born on my side, and on Jay's side, the only grandson is that -- a grandSON. Grandpa J was hoping for a little girl... which made Jay excited about a little girl -- and alas, I created a little girl. Which brings me to my second reason:

2) I didn't want to bond to an "it." I became at times slightly frustrated with the gender differentiation of pronouns within the English language during the early stages of this pregnancy. In Chinese, though in writing the characters for "he" and "she" are different -- he, she, and it are all pronounced the same way. This would really be more convenient for little beings in utero.

3) A long story that had to do with when my mom was pregnant with me... there was a part of me that wanted to "complete the circle" so to speak. My mom has been so exceptional to me while pregnant, particularly when every cooking smell made me want to vomit, and that just wasn't what she received when she was pregnant with me. I felt that she was redeeming an old wound. A little girl seemed to fit in to that scenario of my mind more appropriately.

But that wasn't all... and I knew it... and that's what I've been working on:
4) Gender bias.
- I have brothers... only... and always wanted a sister.
- The boys at school get a far higher percentage of low grades than the girl... I think a part of me gets exasperated by this.
- Boys just scare me sometimes. For many, complicated reasons.
- In most countries of the world, people want boys only, and neglect or kill girls. I like having nothing to do with those kinds of mentalities.

But now I have some different thoughts. They became very obvious to me after a sono tech acquaintance of mine voiced doubt regarding the gender shot we were given.

I am becoming more and more attached to this little boy by the day. I would no longer want him to change back in to a girl. I am proud to be part of raising the next generation of fathered men. I am grateful that my little guy will be given a daily example of what being a loving and hard-working man is...
I think it's incredible that he gets to grow up among tractors, dirt, and family.

My dreams for him grow increasingly tangible, but mostly center on him becoming a man of faith, character, strength, and compassion.

I find it remarkable how my mind-set has shifted from fear and apprehension to confidence and great joy.

And I am also grateful that in this country, we love our little girls and boys.

I hope he gets his daddy's good looks!

This Thanksgiving, my Mother-in-law got out Jay's baby album for me...
Have you ever seen a cuter kid?
I hope our little guy gets his daddy's good looks!

The cutest thing is that he had a huge grin in almost every picture. :)
Apparently he was a happy little one.





(This last one here is my favorite)

Check him out!

So much for a mother's intuition!

I will see my baby tomorrow...

And I've been a complete excited/anxious/nervous wreck!

It's like having this sonogram tomorrow makes the whole thing more real or something. There's a part of me that doesn't want it to be over either... so if it comes tomorrow, then I don't get to see this little one for (Lord willing) about 20 more weeks.

I have a feeling tomorrow morning will bring many happy tears.

Jay gets to be in charge of all disclosure of tomorrow's results, since he is being a sweetheart and letting me find out (so long as baby decides to be forthcoming)... so I cannot promise any immediate announcements... but I doubt I'll be sleeping much tonight.

Here are some pictures of the next little mini-quilts I finished. I now have 2 girl ones completed, and 1 boy... we'll see if I have 1 or 2 more to make after tomorrow. :) The belly is at just shy of 19 weeks.